Absent
by Emma Jane
Summary: Even though Liz is gone, she still watches over Tess.


Title: Absent  
Author: Emma Jane (catfighter25@hotmail.com)  
Feedback: Please! I absolutely love it!  
Distribution: Anywhere, my site, please just send me the URL. ((If your   
site is formatted, please make everything with an "L" in front into   
italics. Thanks. ))  
Pairing: T/L  
Summary: Liz is gone but still watches over Tess. Future AU.  
Rating: PG  
Author's Note: Thanks to Cheyenne for the great beta! And to the   
Roswell producers for leaking those cut scenes from Viva Las Vegas to   
keep me happy. ?  
Disclaimer: I am Jason Katims pretending to be a girl, and writing   
fan fiction because the other producers of my show won't let me take it   
in this direction. Of course Roswell is mine. Yup. Definitely. Oh- but   
the Lyrics for "Absent" belong to Neve, the song was written by John   
Stephens, and Michael Raphael.   
*+*  
There she goes  
And she's right on track.  
She said for now I can't be here,  
But I'm coming back.  
*+*  
(L) I watched her as she loaded the final boxes into her car and locked   
the door to the apartment. Silent tears ran down her cheeks and they   
glistened in the sunlight. She thought she could run- that running   
would help. I knew better. I had tried running once.  
*+*  
And she knows  
In the same old sky,  
That I'll b up within the clouds  
Making sure she's fine.  
*+*  
(L) I will stay with her now, since I couldn't before. I will watch her,   
and be the best guardian angel I can be. Although, I'm not sure angel   
is the right word. I think she knows I'm always with her- that I will   
always love her.  
*+*  
And I don't want to be alone.  
You know I come from a broken home-  
I just can't do without it.  
*+*  
(T) I stop the car, unable to drive any further. The tears erupt and   
cascade down my face and I sob. My whole body is shaking as I lean   
my heard on the steering wheel. I keep telling myself I can't stay   
there- everywhere there are things to remind me of her. A whiff of her   
old perfume, or the scent in the kitchen still lingering from her   
amazing casserole will set me to tears.  
*+*  
Here I go, hear me call out after you  
Bouncing off the satellites,  
A few broken words to get me through this.  
Letting out what I'm always holding in,  
Gone away but I'm coming back again.  
Only you can get me through this.  
*+*  
(T) I can't help how much I love her, even now. I need her to be here with   
me, but I can't grasp onto my memories of her tight enough. They are   
starting to slip away. Already her face in my mind is getting hazy,   
and I only think I remember the way her hair felt under my hands. I   
need her back here, but I can't have her (now or ever) and so I run-   
trying to escape my need.  
*+*  
Things may change,  
And I'll take the blame.  
But what I am to you,  
Will remain the same.  
*+*  
(L) She's crying now, and I wish I could brush her tears away. I would   
take her in my arms and whisper that everything is going to be all   
right. That I'll always love her, and she'll always love me. And we'll   
never be apart unless we choose to be. I'd tell her is I could… but I   
can't.  
*+*  
A fair exchange,  
When there's nothing clear,  
To take so many things,  
That I can't be near.  
*+*  
(L) I can't ask her to remember me. That wouldn't be fair. I want her to   
enjoy life, and it's not right for me to still claim her when I could never   
really have her again in this life.  
*+*  
And I don't want to be alone  
You know I come from a broken home  
I just can't do without it.  
*+*  
(T) I never wanted to be left here. I always though that I'd be the first to   
go- not her. She was always so full of life, and I never even though that   
there was a spark of death in her. I miss her.  
*+*  
Here I go, hear me call out after you  
Bouncing off the satellites,  
A few broken words to get me through this.  
Letting out what I'm always holding in,  
Gone away but I'm coming back again.  
Only you can get me through this.  
*+*  
(T) I cry out to her, praying that she can hear me. Praying that she'll   
know how much pain she's caused me. How much I want her back…   
how much I wish I had gotten home soon enough to save her. It's my   
fault she's gone, and it's my fault I feel this way. I got too close, fell in   
love, and now there's this gaping hole inside of me that I can't fill. No   
matter how hard I try.  
*+*  
I wake up in your arms.  
I know inside it's true,  
Darling to those things you choose.  
*+*  
(T)I feel your breath on my cheek and your arms wrapped around me   
and I know it must be a dream. But then you kiss me, and whisper "I   
love you," and I know you're really here.  
*+*  
I wake up all alone,  
I know inside I'm home.  
But I know it's better,  
Waiting for so long.  
*+*  
(T) My arms are strangely empty in the morning. I lie in our bed,   
and realize that I never could have left. I treasure us too much. I   
suppose that fate has had it's hand in things, and that it's all   
supposed to work out this way- me alone, and you watching over me.   
(Oh I know you are- I hope you are).   
*+*  
There she goes,  
And she's right on track.  
I know for now I can't be here.  
*+*  
(L) I feel gutted to know that I did this to her. That my selfishness   
caused her pain. I only thought of myself, and not the one I cared most   
about. She will live, and she will go on living. My tears will fall to the   
earth as rain, because I want her with me, but I could never take life   
away from her.  
*+*  
Here I go, hear me call out after you  
Bouncing off the satellites,  
A few broken words to get me through this.  
Letting out what I'm always holding in,  
Gone away but I'm coming back again.  
Only you can get me through this.  
*+*  
There she goes.  
*+*  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
